I'm a "NONE"

Been working non-stop at a computer the last two weeks at my job and all I can say is “No Bueno!”

The brain turns to mush and my posture is permanently Quasimodo-ish.

The only time I want to be on a computer is by choice, at home, in my jammies, eating a Hostess Snowball and sipping my Lipton Tea.

With my puppy chewing on my big toe.

Then to add insult to injury, every day when I drag myself home to the bell tower, I am buried under a two pound avalanche of voting minutiae in my mailbox.

Seriously?

How many beautiful trees have been wasted providing paper for this pile of useless doody?

Literally pounds and pounds of nasty rhetoric and accusations with most of it being insulting to my intelligence.

A picture of a nun sporting jazz hands, making a scary face with the caption, “I’m a “NONE”, What’s your political party preference?”

Really??

 My latest voting strategy is, if you fill my mailbox with useless voting ads, you are off my list.

Or clutter our street corners with your tacky signs.

Geez! I can’t even see the Statue of Liberty sign spinner tax guy with all of that junk in the way!

Epic ridiculousness.

And bottom line is, half the stuff is pro one issue and the other half is con for the same issue.

Obviously someone is lying.

I know, I know, everyone  has to get their message out….blah…blah…blah.

I don’t care……

All I know is bodies of mailmen and mailwomen are littering the streets and the sale of back braces for these poor souls is off the charts.

Enough already!!

I think we should go back to the good old days where the knights jousted to establish superiority and the winner just loped off the other guys head.

Much cleaner and to the point.

Or we should round up all the mail workers and they should be able to vote thumbs up or thumbs down in an Olympian style arena on which candidates get to be munched by a lion from the Wild Animal Park.

The more ads they had to deliver, the greater chances of being a big “Frisky” lion treat.

As it is, my regular mail is being held hostage somewhere in a post office latrine because there is no room for it in my mailbox.

So I for one can’t wait until the election is over.

Cuz my “Puppy Potty Training for Dummies” monthly magazine is over two weeks late!

…………I’m just sayin’