Ugh.
Did you know that waterproof caulking is not easily removed from dog fur?
Make a note of it.
Driving through the dusky evening last night looking forward to visiting with the girlies and taking it easy for a few days.
All was well until I reached some weird place on Highway 5 where the traffic screeched to a halt.
I expected an elephant to be the offending road kill considering the size of this pile up.
But as usual there was no visible reason for this mess and we crept along at zero miles per hour mile after mile until we discovered the reason for the mess.
Which of course was there are too many cars on the road in Los Angeles.
Apparently a large open suitcase of clothes at the side of the road.
Which everyone was stopping to peer into?
What?!?!
During the entire slow-down the pups who had been sleeping, thought we were stopping and proceeded to wake up and whine/bark at all the trucks passing us in the night.
FYI, there are a lot of trucks on Highway 5.
Make a note of it.
When we finally slid into the gravel driveway, it was not a minute too late.
The pups were not aware that they were minutes from being dropped off at the side of the road.
Or being thrown into the passenger side window of a passing vehicle.
You think I'm kidding.
I'm not.
So the first order of business was to take them out to go potty.
Any dog owner worth their salt knows that this activity trumps anything else after a long trip with the canines.
Anything.
Make a note of it.
So on go the leashes, out comes the flashlight, and down the steps we go to "Bambi" mark every tree and bush on the block.
Everything was going swimmingly up to this point.
Let me give you a little background.
In my daughter's neighborhood there resides a black, female, feral cat who popped out a robust little band of equally wild and feral kitties a few months back.
Due to the busy nature of the street and the equally cruel turns of fate, her litter has been pared down to one.
As you can well imagine, she is VERY attached to the last of her brood and will defend the little fur ball to the end.
I was unaware of this fact.
Otherwise, I would have made note of it.
So down the block we go, enjoying the evening breeze, strolling and whizzing to beat the band.
The pups finished their doodies and I walked back through the dark looking forward to putting my feet up with a couple of pieces of Domino's pizza while lounging in my jammies.
What happened next is still a blur.
We started up the steps toward the house with the pups sniffing and exploring the flora and fauna when it happened.
Apparently the aforementioned cat was around the corner of the house and sensed a possible enemy within the castle walls.
All I can recall is one of the dogs barked, and as I turned around, a whirling, hissing, ball of fury flew from the shadows to engage in the battle of the "I-Hate-Dogs-and-Will-Kick-Your-Flea-Bag-Behinds-Back-To-San-Diego"
Also known as "I-Am-Not-Afraid-Of-Humans-Either!"
What ensued over the next seemingly endless minutes was a frantic, screaming whirlwind of fur and teeth and claws.
Two pups on leashes barking, lurching and whirling to escape the saber claws of this fearless female.
In the dark these appeared as long and sharp as ten Samurai swords in a Jackie Chan flick.
All the while, I was screeching like a banshee, spinning in circles and doing my darndest to frighten off this relentless feline attacker.
Chopping at the air with flailing arms to keep her from dismembering the crazy canines.
She was unfazed.
The kids heard the commotion and came bounding down the stairs to the rescue.
One of them grabbed Leeloo and Rachel turned into a Kraken of the deep, arms skyward, hissing and and charging the maniacal mama back into the shadows of the night.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Dex had somehow extracted himself from his harness in Houdini-esque fashion and had bounded up the stairs to safety.
Upon close inspection, the injury list included:
Me: A cat scratch on my palm.
Dex: A series of Tic-Tac-Toe slashes on his belly and near his precious manly nethergoods.
Leeloo: Somehow nothin'.
"Nethergoods Cat Scratch Victim"
Later, when asked about the incident he muttered,
"I could have taken her but I don't fight girls".
Meanwhile, the girls snapped into action, washing our wounds, administering TLC, assorted oils, bandages and dog biscuits.
I didn't want one.
By
the light of day, our wounds were healing and I witnessed the mama and
her kitty sitting on the porch across the way innocently playing in the
sunshine.
Deceptive little cretin.
By
the way, when we started out the door this morning for our walk, Dex
stopped and peered toward the corner of the house for just a moment.
"See Leeloo, there's where it all went down!"
He did make sure to stay on the sidewalk and not venture too close to the "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" bushes.
I followed suit.
Apparently those Echo Park cats are a tough bunch.
Just ask Dexter.
Or his manly bits.
He made note of it.
I'm just sayin'...............
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