Girl Scout Guilt

So here we are plodding our way towards Spring and there are three things that are inevitable.

One:  My Christimas tree is still up in my living room.

Two:  That the famous swallows will be winging their way back to San Juan Capistrano in March.

And Three:  The arrival of Girl Scout cookies!

Every year right about the minute we are looking for an excuse to blow our New Years non-junk eating resolution right out of the water, these lovely little delights show up just in the nick of time!

Tiny uniformed angels flood our doors and store entrances with boxes of scrumptious cookies with delightful names such as Samoas, Savannah Smiles and Do-Si-Dos.

Another offshoot of this yearly ritual is the realization that not only will you be solicited by these little darlings, but by ALL of their mothers as well.

The streets are covered with SUVs and mini-vans, windows adorned with glass paint screaming out, “Girl Scout Cookies for Sale!”  Only $4.00………You best buy them from me!

These Chicas are clever!

My favorite spectacle is the work cookie Olympics where the competition gets fierce for your cookie buying dollar.

I had a co-worker whose goal one year was to have her little princess achieve the “Black Belt” of cookie sales and as a result her locker resembled a jumbo booth at the Swap Meet.

It was filled to the brim with all the assorted flavors and paperwork that would crash onto her pointy little head whenever she opened it up to get dressed.

I told her she should buy a long black trench coat with display hooks that she could just whip open like a Dulce de Leche drug dealer when she was pedaling her wares. 

That would be simpler….

And funny….

We understand after the fund-raiser was over they found her curled in a fetal position in her living room, order forms stuck in her shirt, muttering, “How many Thin Mints did you want?”  “Are you sure you paid me?”  babble babble babble

It wasn’t pretty…

But the hardest part of all this Girl Scout cookie madness is going to the grocery store.

There they are with their shining eager faces, and their little card tables, up since the crack of dawn, Mommy sitting behind them with a cup of Starbucks, freezing to death in the morning fog, adorable hand-made signs in their frozen fingers and you have to make the gut wrenching decision.

Do I have an extra four bucks on me?

Or do I have the nerve to utter the soul crushing words, “No thank you sweetie.”

Brutal…..

Then you have to deal with what I call, Girl Scout Guilt.

This has never been a topic on Dr. Phil but it deserves at least one episode for sure.

So to avoid this phenomenon, just remember.

Around this time of year, always have $4.00 on you whenever you plan on going shopping ANYWHERE.

AND stay away from those Humvees with the big metal bumpers whose windows are inscribed with the words, “You’ll buy Tagalongs from me or you can kiss your new paint job goodbye sister!”

………I’m just sayin’