Wake up lingerie

Going to work at 5:00 A.M. today.

I am wimpy.

I used to go to work at 3:00 A.M. everyday.

I was 20 years old then.

Nuff’ said.

Nowadays this early wake up call means I need to set my alarm for 4:00 A.M and then hit the snooze button 47 times.

The final result is leaping from my bed at 4:45, throwing my clothes on and racing to work.

Unsettling....

The best plan is to make sure you set your clothes out the night before and then you just have to just grab 'em and go.

Considering it is really dark at 4:00 A.M., this is a really good idea.

When I used to work at the grocery store, my three o’ clock check in time coincided with many other departments who had to get there and stock their prospective sections before the store opened at 8:00 A.M.

Butchers, produce guys, frozen food flingers, the grocery night crew and the bakery wizards all performed their magic in the middle of the night to insure we were ready to go when the doors were opened for business.

On our crew we had a fellow who was what used to be referred to as “macho”. 

Full of bravado, always acting tough and giving you a hard time for everything. 

Even though he was married, he was the first one to give the single guys advice on the ladies and hassling them when they did something he thought was weak-willed or “sissified”.

One particular night we all were gathered around taking our first break and “Dr. Phil” was in his usual preachy advice-giving stance in front of the group.

So In the middle of his “lesson”, he begins to overheat and decides to shed his lumberjack type plaid jacket. 

After placing it on the counter and returning to his podium, he slowly turns and…..

Right in the center of his back, stuck to his white polyester polo shirt, was his wife’s hot pink, floral nylon thong with the words,“Little Devil” emblazoned on the front.

Apparently in his haste to get to work he had yanked the shirt from the dryer unaware of the pink silky passenger clinging between his shoulder blades.

Now considering his consistent masculine demeanor, this fanny faux pas had the potential to be incredibly embarrassing.

So we all did what any reasonable adults would do.

We said nothing.

You cannot imagine the restraint and self control it took for us not to reveal his sensual secret!

There was so much winking and nudging going on, it looked like break time at a Tourettes Convention.

We figured that a few hours of “Victoria Secret” modeling might take him down a peg or two, so we did not hip him to his panty problem

It was mean.

And hysterical.

Sadly, our fun was cut short when the boss arrived a few hours later and while passing by panty boy said, “Hey, do you know you have a pair of your wifes’ chonies on your back?”

Which of course led him to say, “Hey, didn’t’ you guys notice that?”

“What??”

“What??”

“Us??”

“No!”

“No, we didn’t!”

Biggest pack of lying blind people ever.

But sooo worth it!

Guess I better go check my work clothes for the morning.

Would hate to show up sporting a pair of my Granny Panties on my back.

Although considering the size of those babies, people just might think they were some kind of new fangled tube top.

…….I’m just sayin’