Got any spare change?

Only one entry this week and for me that is unusual.

Had an unfortunate duel with a cafeteria breakfast burrito and let’s just say the burrito triumphed.

This included an up close and personal relationship with many boxes of Imodium.

Nuff said.

Many years ago my Dad was in the hospital and my Mom claimed they tried to poison her with a cafeteria “Special of the Day” which was some sort of pork chop concoction.

She said they were probably tired of her constantly hanging out and thought they would throw her an intestinal curve ball.

Three strikes and you’re OUT!

Or IN, in this case.

Like IN the bathroom.

Or IN pain.

As we get older we tend to be more careful and aware of the things we eat.

Little kids do not have this innate fear of consuming weird junk.

Neither do puppies.

My eldest daughter loved to eat coins.

Any denomination would do.

I preferred she swallow dimes myself.

Less likely to cause that pesky choking reaction.

Plus, it increased her chances of giving you change later on in the day.

I had a friend who told me that her son, unbeknownst to her, once ate a nickel which stuck vertically in his throat.

He was having some trouble swallowing and they took him to the ER to find out what the dealio was.

When the X-ray technician had him on the table he said to her,

“We need you to remove any jewelry that he has on before we continue.”

Her reply was, “He doesn’t have any jewelry on.”

“Well, he has a crucifix around his next doesn’t he?”

“No”

So he takes her around the screen to look at the computer and glowing there in black and white is the nickel, neatly wedged in Johnny’s little windpipe like a perfect metal cross.

Bet even honest Abe was grinning about that!

To which she mutters under her  breath, “I’m going to kill him, if he doesn’t choke to death first!”

X-Ray Tech: “What did you say, Ma’am?”

“I said, it’s lucky it didn’t kill him and that he didn’t choke to death!”

I don’t recall their nickel retrieving method or if they just "waited it out", so to speak.

But lets just say, I bet Johnny remembered to keep his luscious lips off the change jar after that.

Sort of an “Enlightenment by Enema”.

Bottom line is don’t chomp on change or consume breakfast burritos that you don’t know personally.

Cuz take my word for it, your bathroom is not a “Sandals” resort retreat!

You DO NOT want to spend a week there.

…….I’m just sayin’