I have water in my car.....

I have water in my car.

Now that in itself is not unusual but I don’t mean in my radiator.

I mean on the floor, in front of the passenger seat, in a gallon jug.

And because I have the attention span of a gnat, this has been there for awhile.

Like since December.

There is an explanation.

Second week into the jolly month of Christmas and Hanukkah, I drove to the store to purchase some festive goodies for the offspring.

Upon arriving at the mall, I leaped from the car only to witness a flood of green boiling water pouring out of my radiator.

Bummer.

Bad timing…..

So I did what any responsible person would do.

I waited for it to cool down and THEN drove across the street to finish my shopping.

Hey, I had a timetable people!

I ultimately nursed the damaged chariot home and since it was Christmas and the cash flow was nada, decided I would just have to suck it up and get it fixed when I could.

This meant purchasing gallons of distilled water and filling the radiator up everytime before ANY driving trip.

Again, bummer.

Expecially since one of the struts (or as I like to call them, “the thingies that hold up your hood”), was damaged, which required me to use a old green solid square measuring stick that my sister gave me to prop up the hood while I filled the radiator.

Embarrassing and dangerous, considering that on one occasion the hood slipped and crashed onto my unsuspecting head which sent me sprawling onto the ground.

Skull fracture city.

I’m sure someone got a good laugh out of it.

So long story short, I managed to eventually get the car repaired and ended up with one jug of water left.

So there it is.

Still in the front seat.

On the floor.

Three months later.

The other day I was thirsty and decided I would take a swig.

This well-manicured lady sitting at the light next to me sipping her latte out of a $15 travel mug suddenly looks over and spies me gulping down water. I had my giant gallon jug slung over my shoulder slurping away like a moonshiner and all I could think to do was sheepishly smile and wave.

I’m sure she was thinking, “poor uncivilized cretin.”

“Can’t even afford a one dollar travel sized bottle of Arrowhead."

I wanted to roll down my window and bellow, “Hey Toots, don’t be jealous!"  "If my radiator blows I’m all set."  "But you try limping that Lexus home with a Trenta cup from Starbucks full of Frappaccino and you’ll not get very far!”

But I was chicken.

And she drove away too fast.

Plus my mouth was full of water.

……..I’m just sayin.