"Be Safe, Buckle Up!"

I don’t know if any of you remember this, but years ago they made these small flash card flip sign paddles that you were supposed to keep with you in your car.

Sadly, I don’t remember what they were called.

Each one had a number of quaint, polite sayings and you could flip through them until you found the exact thing you would love to impart on your fellow motorists.

“Have a nice day”, “Hi”, “Peace”,” “Make Love not War” and “Smile” were amongst the many heartfelt quotes that you could choose from.

I don’t remember how long this fad lasted but it was probably and literally squashed when someone took their eyes off of the road to flip someone a cheery sign that read, 

“Be Safe, Buckle Up!”

Unfortunate.

Not really smart to be reading a flash card and driving at the same time.

Kind of like eating a Big Mac and merging.

I just got to thinking that if the idea was re-visited in this year of 2012, just what it would have evolved into.

First of all you wouldn’t have anything written on paper.

Too archaic.

It would have to be some kind of electronic texting device that you could hold up and beam your message to the cars around you.

This morning on the way to work mine would have read,

Dear Moronic Driver in the Gray Car Next to Me,

In case you flunked this part of your driving test, this is a sign that means the lane is ending.

In case you are color blind, this is another one in red.

This means that either you or me must slow down and let the other one in front of them to fit onto the road.

Since we are surrounded on both sides by a cement embankment, this is important.

I have been trying to allow you to go in front of me to accomplish this simple maneuver for the last five minutes.

You have not cooperated.

And when I speed up to get in front of you, you stay right by my side

You are a slow learn.

News flash…

We are not Siamese twins.

I do not like you.

And I do not own the car from Men In Black.

’So unless you want me to jump from my car and start tap dancing on your hood like Jed Clampett from The Beverly Hillbillies, please try to figure it out and BACK OFF!

Thank you and “Be Safe, Buckle Up!”

Oh, and “Peace.”

…….I’m just sayin