Doggie Detention?

Took the pup on a canine version of a “playdate” this weekend.

I should have known better.

At the ripe old age of 12 weeks she still doesn’t have the sense God gave a goat and therefore doesn’t realize that older dogs do not enjoy having a 4 pound whirlwind ride them like a wee jockey at Del Mar.

The first time we attempted to introduce her to other animals of her species, we decided that my best friend would bring over her feisty Pomeranian to “visit his cousin”.

Now Bennie is a 4 pound Alpha male, who rules the roost at home and normally puts up with no nonsense from other dogs, including his brother Jake who is bigger and younger.

She tried to eat him.

Literally, (please see photo)

Words cannot explain her frenzied joy at the appearance of this adorable dust mop.

Bennie hated her….

As well he should have.

If Bennie was able to produce a thought bubble it would have read,

“So you’ve been raising me all these years only to be sacrificed to Miss Masticate here?” 

“Seriously???”

My friend bore a striking resemblance to Rafiki lifting Simba to the skies as she whirled around saving Bennie from certain mammal mutilation.

Or as I like to call it, "death by lickage."

All the while we were shrieking, “She’s just playing! Be nice! No bites! Nice puppy! Ow,Ow!”

They left after 5 minutes.

Like an Eharmony encounter gone bad.

So this weekend my second attempt at puppy visitation was to the home of my dear brother and sister-in-law who own a 65 pound gentle giant named Iggy. 

Iggy is a pound puppy pit bull who was rescued from sure destruction and shuttled off to the best home a dog could ever hope for.

My phone call to my sibling went like this:

“So I’m taking the pup in for her last series of shots and I thought she could come over and visit Iggy afterwards.”

His reaction was, “That would be fun. Come on by.”

Iggy should have taken that call.

He was blindsided.

In his own home.

Her joy at the sight of this colossal caramel colored canine was again, beyond words.

She hit the ground running and went through his basket of dog toys like a pig in slop.

If she could have friended him on Facebook, it would have been instantaneous.

She loved him....

She adored him.....

He wanted to body slam her like a WFW champion.

I don’t blame him.

The pup has no concept of danger and therefore does not register the logical sequence of.

Big Dog.

Could Eat You.

Back Off.

I think they should make a "Rosetta Stone Course For Dogs" so they can understand the languages of humans and other canine friends.

She would probably eat the CD.

My brother spent the first half an hour wrestling Iggy into submission so they could attempt some bottom sniffage.

It was touch and go.

After a long walk, the best we could do was Iggy on the couch, in my brothers’ lap, on a leash, hating life.

Please see photo.

The caption should read,

Dear Auntie,

Hate your dog.

Please go home.

Love, Iggy

Best quote of the day came from my sweet sister-in-law who suggested so discreetly,

“So you know who has the best dog training classes?  Petco!”  (Hint, Hint)

Translation:  “Drag your mangy mutt to school, you fool!” 

So behavior classes may in our future….

Is there such a thing as Doggie Detention?

Cuz I KNOW I’m getting that phone call.

…….I’m just sayin’