Were you raised by a hobo?

So the following is an entry I posted on Facebook pre-blog which I thought some of you might enjoy.

Getting on an Amtrak to visit two of my brood up in HollywoodLand for a 3 day weekend! 

THAT should give me some blog fodder for sure! 

See you on Monday!

As previously discussed, I have a new puppy…..

And being a puppy her goal is to chew anything she can get her pointy little teeth on including my flesh, old nasty leaves and bird feathers. (as of yet, not while still on my bird)!

This is frowned upon by all involved and we have found that the best way to keep her from doing this lovely practice is a little squirt with a spray bottle on the nose with the admonition of “NO bite!"

 It has saved countless socks, ankles, shoes, shoelaces, noses and multiple other fleshy appendages to date.

I just got to thinking what a smashing idea it would be if we could apply this training lesson to humans!

Anyone caught doing stuff that was socially unacceptable we would just whip out our bottle from the 99 cent store and go to town!

The possibilities are endless….If someone takes your parking spot you get out of your car, motion for them to roll down the window and BAM!….right in the kisser with a firm, “NO!”

Littering, passing gas in the elevator, being pushy and loud in the line at the grocery store, taking 2 hours at the ATM machine, cutting in line at Ticketmaster, blowing your nose really loud and sloppily in a restaurant( I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!)

EVEN if you do it in a handkerchief or Kleenex)

Really people???

Excuse yourself to the bathroom for Pete’s Sake!

Were you raised by a hobo?

And the most disgusting thing in the world, which even though I am not a sexist I have only witnessed men doing,…….

BLOWING YOUR NOSE BY PINCHING DOWN ONE SNOTTY NOSTRIL AND BLOWING OUT THE OTHER!!!!

I have no words for how incredibly foul this is!!!!!

Just don’t do it!!!

ANYWHERE!!!

EVER!!!!

I’m trying to picture a bunch of ladies just strollling out of the club in the Gaslamp with their teeny little skirts on, leaning over on the sidewalk with their little runny noses and just lettin' it fly….

It wouldn’t happen....

Not on this planet anyway……

At least until after 2:00 A.M........

So I’m on my way to the store to pick up another spray bottle, then back home to compile my list of “spray worthy”deeds.

I bet there isn’t even a law against assault with a spray bottle……

Genius idea!.....

.........I'm just sayin’